Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Interview with MENTAL CEO...JOKE of 2010.
Lame x update pasal Brunei and Me...somehow got story that just happened today. Rating this story adalah 18GS (GS - Giler Sengal)...bermula disini....
Dpt sms dari ayahanda dr Kelantan, was told me that someone from Brunei company were after me for interview for IT Manager. Fuhh, sound really promising...bersungguh2 call tepon rumah kat kelantan plak tu.. then i called them back and ask for details... talked to HR Manager, told me dat wanna arrange interview for IT Manager. I double check again is it true for Manager position for me? and he double check and yup...its for me.. Mr Azman Mashor...Terus wa berdebar2 laaa excited...ye ah...salary basic offered B$5000 tu! wa dah terbayang2 naik audi A4 dah..hahaha..
so today...the interview.
There are two bloke waiting at the lounge room. Pakai polo shirt je for the interview. Sempoi betul...but then they told me there are for IT Technician...so ok laa with baju sempoi camtu. Wa ni plak pakai smart gile gaye cam Josep Guardiola (Barca Manager) memang laa wa utk Manager position. ok Here wa masuk into the interview room: (ini adalah ringkasan conversation only)
Empat staff pompuan and one pakcik in there. So I can guess the pakcik is the CEO from his face. Without introduce any of them, the CEO started the interview. (wa kasik salam pon tak jawab).
CEO sengal: So, your name is Azman. (sambil bace my resume). You was born in Johor..which part in Johor?
Wa: JB..
CEO sengal: Which part of JB?
Wa: Are you familiar with JB? I am from Taman Suria. Do you know Tuan Haji? (masih sopan santun)
CEO sengal: No, I dont know any of JB places.
Detik kemenangan pertama..... Azman 1 - CEO 0 ..
ceh, tak tau lagi mau tanya...biaseknye start interview tembak aa soklan yang relevent terus...die belek2 lagi resume kawe dan 2nd question:
CEO sengal: You have dual major...IT and Sport Studies...are you a sportsman?
Wa: Yup...i play soccer, hockey and recently golf.
CEO sengal: Wow...golf..goood..but i dont play golf.
( dalam hati wa berkata...'booooringgg')
CEO sengal: Have you play golf in RBA golf course?
Wa: Yup, in Baiduri Masters early last year.
CEO sengal: What par was it for the first hole? Second hole? Third hole? and their index?
(dlm hati berkata, wat the?? isk tricky tul soklan..maneee aa wa ingat..diferent course have different setup. maka wa jawab:
Wa: Honestly Tuan Haji, I cant recall because it has been awhile.
Wa dengan jujur mengaku tak ingat dan berceritalah kepadanya tentang how the golf course setup. CEO sengal menepis dgn bongkak lalu berkata.
CEO sengal: Soo, basically you are bullshiting me? First hole is par 5, second hole is par 4..blablabla.
Wa dalam hati berkata :Pale hotak lu bullshit. Mane wa hapal semua hole wa main..beratus golf course dah wa main mana nak ingat.
Ok fine. Azman 1 - CEO 1 for now.
CEO sengal: Even tho i dont play golf, i read and i know. There are par 6 hole in Pahang and Thailand.
Cakapnya sungguh bongkak. kepala hotak lu berjambul! base on reading? Par 6? Ape wa nak kisah par 6 sbb tu dah bukan standard golf dah...sengal....and we stil havent touch about relevent IT yet. Wa senyap je laa tanda masih sabar dan hormat kepada org tua. Sabar...byk lagi yang borak kosong yang amat membuang masa dan hanya die je yang show off his fact and figure base on his reading depan empat orang gadis HR tu. Wa dah start naik hangin tak tahan berlagak gile.
CEO sengal: What is your final project in your university?
Wa: Biomechanical in Golf. It is research about how golf equipment can enhance performance.
CEO sengal: Ouhh...ok how many golf brand in the world?
Perkkkk....soklan cam katon.
Wa: I dont know. But major country manufactures are US and Japan.
Ini adalah detik kemenangan beliau. Lalu berkata.
CEO sengal: There are 24 brands. And clearly your research is crap! (bongkak siut muka die...isk isk)
Bodoooo gileee...research wa pasal biomechanical, bukannye brand! buduuusss...
kasik aa menang free...
Azman 1 - CEO 2
Here come the part wa sangat sangat disappointing:
CEO sengal: Eh you are here for IT Manager position?
Wa: Yup. That what I was told by HR Manager from our phone conversation.
CEO sengal: Hahahaha (gelak setan). His only have a week left in our company. He got sack!
Panteeeeeeeekkk!! Penatttt wa drive 1.5hrs dari jam 6.45am pagi hari. Harungi hujan lebat, banjir, jammed. Rupanya bukan utk Manager position. Sudah start menampakkan kebodohan dan amat bodoh management dan jugak CEO. Tapi alang2 dah drive jauh wa teruskan je laa borak dan nak tengok lagi sejauh mana kebodohan CEO yang berlagak ni.
Finally ade gak beberapa soklan technical yang die tanya. Wa jawab dengan cemerlang skali. Tapi yang malangnya die sememangnya tak tahu langsung pasal technical stuff..penat wa cerita even ada satu dua wa kelentong pon die tak tahu... dah kalau tak tahu tu takyah laa tanya kan? dan nak menunjukkan die ni hebat jugak dalam technical (yelaa nak menang gak)..begini salah satu contohnya:
CEO sengal: Do you know what is after megabyte in memory system?
Wa: Sure, gigabyte.
CEO sengal: After gigabyte?
Wa: Terabyte.
CEO sengal: After terabyte?
Wa: Honestly I dont know. (sememangnya DONT KNOW itu la yg CEO mau dengar)
CEO sengal: Huh..you dont know aa...petabyte. (jawab dengan muka tak bleh blah blagak gile!)
tak aci..Azman 1 - CEO 3..perkkk macam nak kalah besar wa ni.
Waaa technical laa sgt...tu budak darjah satu pon google bleh tahu. Yelaa mende yang takde kaitan. Tu pon nak bongkak? time wa citer real technical die tak tau langsung. Ok laa fine maybe it was tooo technical for him. But when i explain about SAP, die bleh tak tau??? Bodo gileeee...walhal wa siap kasik suggestion about how SAP can super enhance his company. Biasek laa wa ni kan dah ada ilmu SAP and SAP lover. But seriously dude, if I had given an opportunity i will make his company excel with SAP. Bcause they are the largest supplier tools and equipements for oil and gases company in Brunei. Tapi kerana dia yang bongkak, dia laa rugi kan. Mungkin wa terlepas gaji bulanan 5 ribu, tapi maybe die lagi rugi 5 juta kan?
Satu lagi kebodohan dia dalam handle company, hujah ni wa menang besar.
CEO sengal: Normally, I dont take foreigner. Even like you now half Bruneian half Malaysian I dont like to take. I am not discrimination, but foreigner always high demand. Like you, you put here on the paper expected salary 4500-5000 monthly.
Wa: That is what manager salary market in Brunei. And that what HR Manager told me yesterday. And I know I am fit for be a manager rather than technician.
CEO sengal: (senggihhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cam beruk dpt manggis tanpa berkata apa)
Azman 2 - CEO 3..Wa membara....
Wa: Now that is discrimination! All your staff work for money, i dont believe they work for your company. Ask one of them (sambil tunding jari kat empat awek HR tu) if you offer them $100 permonth, would they stay or not?
Kacceeeekangg!!! Azman 3 - CEO 3..seri
tapi sian gak minah2 tu gak tibe2 kene bakar dek wa. CEO sengih jee tak tau nak kate ape. Yelaa tak paham apa itu discrimination. Wa ni mmg dah cukup clear dgn perkataan discrimination. Time kat ozi dulu laaa wa blaja semua ni. Yelaa ade abo, ade kulit putih, ade cina, ade india. Ni Bruneian and Malaysian pon susah kee nak beza erti discrimination?
CEO masih tak berpuas hati.
CEO sengal: Your resume look very impressive. But you know, everyone can create their own resume. I can create my astronaut resume if i want. (b0d0 doublesault)
Wa: Yes, that is true. But would you capable of doing it so? I have references that you can juz call them. I am very sure they are happy to talk to you. What I have in my resume are what I am very good at and able to do so.
CEO tangkis...piakkkkk!
CEO sengal: Nowadays everyone can do dat. Simply ask their friend to be their references.
Wa tahu wa menang, tak payah jawab, wa hanya geleng kepala sambil berkata;
Wa: Go ahead, call them. (sambil angkat kening sebelah)
Piakkkkkkk! Azman 4 - CEO 3..
pakcik CEO tu buat muka bodo je. Kalah mmg camtu la. Some how die senyap kejap berfikir sesuatu. Lalu berkata dgn nada rendah kali ini. lain macam betul.. ;
CEO sengal: Okie. I can offer you for technician job ok, base on your resume and yet no prove yet. (cilake tanak kalah). And from there, you can work hard and i will review your job every 3months and possible be a manager from 4 or 5 years from now.
Perkkk...dia nak kiteeee laaa...hati wa dah ranap. Macam wa naakk sangat keje technician die tu. Gileee lu gaji $700 je? nak kasik bini anak makan ape? tayar kete?
Wa: Sori, I have made up my mind awhile ago. Based on how you manage your company is very bad management. If you are looking for IT Technician, you should bring your IT staff because they know more technical stuff than you do.
Kepam! Kepam! Azman 5 - CEO 3..
Wa: And you never apologize on behalf of your HR Manager mistaken told me I'm here for IT Manager position. External people generally wont see on department point of view mistake but reflect on the company it self. Each department and every each of your employee represent your company. Clearly you are lack of management skills.
Wa: I am through with your company. A very very bad management company.
CEO sengal: Fine! So we done now.
Pweeeewiiitt!! Dia Surrender spender putih... Azman 6 - CEO 3
Wa: Thank you for wasting your time. (nada very very rude sambil wa bangun)
CEO sengal: Ooooo now you said we are wasting your time? at least we called you in very respectly.
Wa: Yes respectly but with the wrong information. And yeah, I said your time. Not mine.
Prriitttt priiitttt pritttttttttttttt!!!! Time's up! Wa pon terus berlalu keluar bilik. Ade gak wa perasan antara empat minah HR dalam bilik tu sengih tgk kebodohan CEO sendiri.
Azman 7 - CEO 3...Fulltime..
Lakaran wajah si CEO sambil isap rokok ketika interview.
Pls note misai & rambut die mmg ade kuning2. Penyakit kuning kot. Haha
Dpt sms dari ayahanda dr Kelantan, was told me that someone from Brunei company were after me for interview for IT Manager. Fuhh, sound really promising...bersungguh2 call tepon rumah kat kelantan plak tu.. then i called them back and ask for details... talked to HR Manager, told me dat wanna arrange interview for IT Manager. I double check again is it true for Manager position for me? and he double check and yup...its for me.. Mr Azman Mashor...Terus wa berdebar2 laaa excited...ye ah...salary basic offered B$5000 tu! wa dah terbayang2 naik audi A4 dah..hahaha..
so today...the interview.
There are two bloke waiting at the lounge room. Pakai polo shirt je for the interview. Sempoi betul...but then they told me there are for IT Technician...so ok laa with baju sempoi camtu. Wa ni plak pakai smart gile gaye cam Josep Guardiola (Barca Manager) memang laa wa utk Manager position. ok Here wa masuk into the interview room: (ini adalah ringkasan conversation only)
Empat staff pompuan and one pakcik in there. So I can guess the pakcik is the CEO from his face. Without introduce any of them, the CEO started the interview. (wa kasik salam pon tak jawab).
CEO sengal: So, your name is Azman. (sambil bace my resume). You was born in Johor..which part in Johor?
Wa: JB..
CEO sengal: Which part of JB?
Wa: Are you familiar with JB? I am from Taman Suria. Do you know Tuan Haji? (masih sopan santun)
CEO sengal: No, I dont know any of JB places.
Detik kemenangan pertama..... Azman 1 - CEO 0 ..
ceh, tak tau lagi mau tanya...biaseknye start interview tembak aa soklan yang relevent terus...die belek2 lagi resume kawe dan 2nd question:
CEO sengal: You have dual major...IT and Sport Studies...are you a sportsman?
Wa: Yup...i play soccer, hockey and recently golf.
CEO sengal: Wow...golf..goood..but i dont play golf.
( dalam hati wa berkata...'booooringgg')
CEO sengal: Have you play golf in RBA golf course?
Wa: Yup, in Baiduri Masters early last year.
CEO sengal: What par was it for the first hole? Second hole? Third hole? and their index?
(dlm hati berkata, wat the?? isk tricky tul soklan..maneee aa wa ingat..diferent course have different setup. maka wa jawab:
Wa: Honestly Tuan Haji, I cant recall because it has been awhile.
Wa dengan jujur mengaku tak ingat dan berceritalah kepadanya tentang how the golf course setup. CEO sengal menepis dgn bongkak lalu berkata.
CEO sengal: Soo, basically you are bullshiting me? First hole is par 5, second hole is par 4..blablabla.
Wa dalam hati berkata :Pale hotak lu bullshit. Mane wa hapal semua hole wa main..beratus golf course dah wa main mana nak ingat.
Ok fine. Azman 1 - CEO 1 for now.
CEO sengal: Even tho i dont play golf, i read and i know. There are par 6 hole in Pahang and Thailand.
Cakapnya sungguh bongkak. kepala hotak lu berjambul! base on reading? Par 6? Ape wa nak kisah par 6 sbb tu dah bukan standard golf dah...sengal....and we stil havent touch about relevent IT yet. Wa senyap je laa tanda masih sabar dan hormat kepada org tua. Sabar...byk lagi yang borak kosong yang amat membuang masa dan hanya die je yang show off his fact and figure base on his reading depan empat orang gadis HR tu. Wa dah start naik hangin tak tahan berlagak gile.
CEO sengal: What is your final project in your university?
Wa: Biomechanical in Golf. It is research about how golf equipment can enhance performance.
CEO sengal: Ouhh...ok how many golf brand in the world?
Perkkkk....soklan cam katon.
Wa: I dont know. But major country manufactures are US and Japan.
Ini adalah detik kemenangan beliau. Lalu berkata.
CEO sengal: There are 24 brands. And clearly your research is crap! (bongkak siut muka die...isk isk)
Bodoooo gileee...research wa pasal biomechanical, bukannye brand! buduuusss...
kasik aa menang free...
Azman 1 - CEO 2
Here come the part wa sangat sangat disappointing:
CEO sengal: Eh you are here for IT Manager position?
Wa: Yup. That what I was told by HR Manager from our phone conversation.
CEO sengal: Hahahaha (gelak setan). His only have a week left in our company. He got sack!
Panteeeeeeeekkk!! Penatttt wa drive 1.5hrs dari jam 6.45am pagi hari. Harungi hujan lebat, banjir, jammed. Rupanya bukan utk Manager position. Sudah start menampakkan kebodohan dan amat bodoh management dan jugak CEO. Tapi alang2 dah drive jauh wa teruskan je laa borak dan nak tengok lagi sejauh mana kebodohan CEO yang berlagak ni.
Finally ade gak beberapa soklan technical yang die tanya. Wa jawab dengan cemerlang skali. Tapi yang malangnya die sememangnya tak tahu langsung pasal technical stuff..penat wa cerita even ada satu dua wa kelentong pon die tak tahu... dah kalau tak tahu tu takyah laa tanya kan? dan nak menunjukkan die ni hebat jugak dalam technical (yelaa nak menang gak)..begini salah satu contohnya:
CEO sengal: Do you know what is after megabyte in memory system?
Wa: Sure, gigabyte.
CEO sengal: After gigabyte?
Wa: Terabyte.
CEO sengal: After terabyte?
Wa: Honestly I dont know. (sememangnya DONT KNOW itu la yg CEO mau dengar)
CEO sengal: Huh..you dont know aa...petabyte. (jawab dengan muka tak bleh blah blagak gile!)
tak aci..Azman 1 - CEO 3..perkkk macam nak kalah besar wa ni.
Waaa technical laa sgt...tu budak darjah satu pon google bleh tahu. Yelaa mende yang takde kaitan. Tu pon nak bongkak? time wa citer real technical die tak tau langsung. Ok laa fine maybe it was tooo technical for him. But when i explain about SAP, die bleh tak tau??? Bodo gileeee...walhal wa siap kasik suggestion about how SAP can super enhance his company. Biasek laa wa ni kan dah ada ilmu SAP and SAP lover. But seriously dude, if I had given an opportunity i will make his company excel with SAP. Bcause they are the largest supplier tools and equipements for oil and gases company in Brunei. Tapi kerana dia yang bongkak, dia laa rugi kan. Mungkin wa terlepas gaji bulanan 5 ribu, tapi maybe die lagi rugi 5 juta kan?
Satu lagi kebodohan dia dalam handle company, hujah ni wa menang besar.
CEO sengal: Normally, I dont take foreigner. Even like you now half Bruneian half Malaysian I dont like to take. I am not discrimination, but foreigner always high demand. Like you, you put here on the paper expected salary 4500-5000 monthly.
Wa: That is what manager salary market in Brunei. And that what HR Manager told me yesterday. And I know I am fit for be a manager rather than technician.
CEO sengal: (senggihhhhhhhhhhhhhhh cam beruk dpt manggis tanpa berkata apa)
Azman 2 - CEO 3..Wa membara....
Wa: Now that is discrimination! All your staff work for money, i dont believe they work for your company. Ask one of them (sambil tunding jari kat empat awek HR tu) if you offer them $100 permonth, would they stay or not?
Kacceeeekangg!!! Azman 3 - CEO 3..seri
tapi sian gak minah2 tu gak tibe2 kene bakar dek wa. CEO sengih jee tak tau nak kate ape. Yelaa tak paham apa itu discrimination. Wa ni mmg dah cukup clear dgn perkataan discrimination. Time kat ozi dulu laaa wa blaja semua ni. Yelaa ade abo, ade kulit putih, ade cina, ade india. Ni Bruneian and Malaysian pon susah kee nak beza erti discrimination?
CEO masih tak berpuas hati.
CEO sengal: Your resume look very impressive. But you know, everyone can create their own resume. I can create my astronaut resume if i want. (b0d0 doublesault)
Wa: Yes, that is true. But would you capable of doing it so? I have references that you can juz call them. I am very sure they are happy to talk to you. What I have in my resume are what I am very good at and able to do so.
CEO tangkis...piakkkkk!
CEO sengal: Nowadays everyone can do dat. Simply ask their friend to be their references.
Wa tahu wa menang, tak payah jawab, wa hanya geleng kepala sambil berkata;
Wa: Go ahead, call them. (sambil angkat kening sebelah)
Piakkkkkkk! Azman 4 - CEO 3..
pakcik CEO tu buat muka bodo je. Kalah mmg camtu la. Some how die senyap kejap berfikir sesuatu. Lalu berkata dgn nada rendah kali ini. lain macam betul.. ;
CEO sengal: Okie. I can offer you for technician job ok, base on your resume and yet no prove yet. (cilake tanak kalah). And from there, you can work hard and i will review your job every 3months and possible be a manager from 4 or 5 years from now.
Perkkk...dia nak kiteeee laaa...hati wa dah ranap. Macam wa naakk sangat keje technician die tu. Gileee lu gaji $700 je? nak kasik bini anak makan ape? tayar kete?
Wa: Sori, I have made up my mind awhile ago. Based on how you manage your company is very bad management. If you are looking for IT Technician, you should bring your IT staff because they know more technical stuff than you do.
Kepam! Kepam! Azman 5 - CEO 3..
Wa: And you never apologize on behalf of your HR Manager mistaken told me I'm here for IT Manager position. External people generally wont see on department point of view mistake but reflect on the company it self. Each department and every each of your employee represent your company. Clearly you are lack of management skills.
Wa: I am through with your company. A very very bad management company.
CEO sengal: Fine! So we done now.
Pweeeewiiitt!! Dia Surrender spender putih... Azman 6 - CEO 3
Wa: Thank you for wasting your time. (nada very very rude sambil wa bangun)
CEO sengal: Ooooo now you said we are wasting your time? at least we called you in very respectly.
Wa: Yes respectly but with the wrong information. And yeah, I said your time. Not mine.
Prriitttt priiitttt pritttttttttttttt!!!! Time's up! Wa pon terus berlalu keluar bilik. Ade gak wa perasan antara empat minah HR dalam bilik tu sengih tgk kebodohan CEO sendiri.
Azman 7 - CEO 3...Fulltime..
Lakaran wajah si CEO sambil isap rokok ketika interview.Pls note misai & rambut die mmg ade kuning2. Penyakit kuning kot. Haha
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
